Free fiction: Beware the Easter Moon

My kids’ story, Beware the Easter Moon, is available on Kindle for free this Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.  (It’s exclusive on Amazon until, um, July something, so if you need a copy in another format, contact me.)

Beware the Easter Moon Cover

Beware the Easter Moon

by De Kenyon


Colin’s tired of Grandpa stealing kids’ chocolate Easter eggs. So he hatches a plan to make his Granpa eat one of last year’s Easter eggs. One of the regular kind. That stinks when it gets rotten.

It was a terrible plan. But it was also a great plan.

He just shouldn’t have gone outside at the farm to get the egg on the night of the full moon before Easter.

Colin sneaked out of his grandpa’s big old creepy white house with the tree branches that scratched the windows and the heaters that went hunk hunk hunk all night long while his pile of cousins slept, drooling and farting and snoring.

Grandpa didn’t lock his doors, because he lived a long ways away from anybody else, but his shotgun was on a shelf in the closet, too high to reach unless Colin dragged one of the big silver and green chairs out of the sunroom and into the entryway and stood on it to see. Grandpa always said it was for coyotes.

But all Colin wanted to do was get his egg.

He grabbed his coat off a wire hanger in the closet and stepped into Grandpa’s boots, because Grandpa’s boots were always muddy, no matter what Grandma said, and nobody would notice in the morning if they weren’t clean.

He slowly turned the handle and slowly pulled on the door, but it wouldn’t open and he jerked on it hard and then it almost hit the wall.

But he caught it.

Then he slowly opened the creaking screen door and slowly shut both doors behind him.

The stoop looked white at first because the moon was so bright. But his eyes adjusted, and he tiptoed with the big dried-mud boots down the hard old steps as quietly as he could. The sharp steps had already cut his cousin Maria right across her eyebrow.

A gate creaked and slammed against the post. The trees scratched the windows. The ground was white from the storm and the moon, and the threes only cast thin shadows on the ground.

He liked Grandpa’s farm better when the leaves were out in the summer and the wind whispered through them like the running of a river. But now it was so quiet he could hear the coyotes out in the pastures. And it was cold enough to bite his ears and get up his nose and smell like nothing and make his nose drip.

But he wouldn’t be out here long.

He went out the gate, and it creaked when he opened it, but it always creaked and slammed all night in the breeze anyway. One ear was already colder than the other, and he wished he’d brought a hat.

He went down the muddy path to the chicken coop, where the chickens were all sleeping inside the dark building. The coyote howled again, and Colin started running as fast as Grandpa’s boots would let him.

The egg was behind the chicken coop.

It wasn’t a regular chicken egg. It was a last-year Easter egg.

He crunched through the snow, not caring about the loud sound so much as wanting to get back in the house as fast as he could. But his feet sank in and the hard snow tried to take Grandpa’s boots off, so he had to bend over and pull Grandpa’s boots out of the snow with his bare hands and his foot still in it.

The coyote sounded a lot closer now.

Colin looked into the cow pasture, which had a tall, square-wire fence all along the edge so the cows didn’t get out. The snow was deeper on this side, with long strings of dead grass all the way through it. On the other side it was empty and white and went up a long hill with two brown streaks of road for Grandpa’s tractor tires as he took hay out to the cows in a hay trailer and Colin and all the cousins would throw it out to the cows, who would eat it from between the bars of the trailer while they were still moving.

He didn’t see anything on the hill, so he went around the corner of the chicken coop and stomped a hole in the top of the snow.

Carefully, he dug down through the snow to the ground.

Please be there, please be there.

His hand scraped the top of something harder than snow and he saw it: the egg.

Categories: Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-05-13

  • So. If you've ever had a fear of vacuum cleaners, this story may not be for you. http://t.co/Cgij9eqh #
  • On the other hand, if you know someone with a fear of vacuum cleaners, this story may make a perfect brat gift. http://t.co/Cgij9eqh #
  • At any rate, I have discussed never getting me a Roomba with my husband. #
  • Wonderland Press Newsletter for May – http://t.co/MSdgjRCs Release schedule, writer tips, free stuff, and more. #

Powered by Twitter Tools

Categories: Uncategorized | Leave a comment

My Mom Ate My Homework

My Mom Ate My Homework

by De Kenyon

Available at SmashwordsB&NAmazon.com, and more.

Aya’s mom just told her to pick up her stuff for the 1,001th time…she was almost going to pick it up for reals, but then her mom gets turned into a cleanicidal vacuum cyborg. And now Aya’s almost late for school…

Aya held the big box of Fruit Loops in one hand and The Best Cereal Bowl Ever in her other hand, ready to pour. The Best Cereal Bowl Ever had two sides: one side for the crunchy and delicious cereal, and the other side for the cold and delicious milk, so you could scoop out a scoop of cereal, dunk it in the milk, and eat it at the moment of best coldness and crunchiness.

Unfortunately, Aya’s mom chose exactly that moment to stomp up to the table so hard she made Aya’s spoon rattle. “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times!” Aya’s mom yelled. “Pick up your trash!”

Aya looked around the kitchen. Okay, so most of the table was stacked with her folded laundry, and her homework was all over the floor under the table where she’d been working on it last night while Mom cooked, and maaaaaybe she’d left a few candy wrappers under her pillow, and okay, so her computer desk had two soda cans and a pile of tissues on it, and, um, okay. But she was seriously hungry.

“Can’t I wait until after I eat breakfast?” she asked.

“No!” her mom yelled. “I told you to clean yesterday morning, and you didn’t. And then I told you to clean after you got home from school yesterday, and you didn’t. And I told you to clean before you went to bed last night, and you didn’t. And today is my birthday, and you know what’s the worst birthday present ever? Having to clean up your daughter’s mess. So now I don’t care if you starve at school today—pick up your traaaaaash!!!

Mom yelled so loud that Aya’s hair streamed out behind her and her mother’s coffee-smelling spit splattered onto her face. Mom was sogross. After a few seconds of glaring at her, Mom stomped into the living room, saying something mean-sounding under her breath.

Aya sighed, put the cereal box down, and wiped her face with a napkin. “That makes it a thousand and one times.” She picked up an armful of her clothes and started carrying them back to her room.

From the living room, Mom’s new vacuum cleaner started running. Dad had bought it for her birthday, so she wouldn’t have to vacuum anymore: it was a self-driving vacuum cleaner that would vacuum the carpet and even wash the kitchen floor to pick up any mess from spilled food.

Aya was about to shove all her clothes in her top drawer when suddenly she heard her mother scream, “Help, Aya!”

Aya dropped her clothes on the floor, jumped over her toys and books and dirty clothes, ran down the hallway, and jumped down the two stairs into the living room.

Mom wrestled with her new vacuum cleaner, a loud, gray machine that had all kinds of tubes and cords coming out of it that wrapped around her arms and legs. The back end of the machine spat out black, stinky smoke that covered the ceiling and made Aya cough.

Mom held a pair of scissors that she used to stab the machine, but the cords just wrapped tighter.

The machine—it had to be Mom’s new vacuum cleaner—suddenly sucked down Mom’s arm with the scissors, while an electrical cord climbed up her arm and plugged itself into her nostril.

“Mom!”

(After my daughter read this, we agreed that my husband should never give me a vacuum cleaner.)

Categories: Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Book Review: The Dreables

**** Excellent

Male main character who should appeal to both boys and girls.  There’s a girl character later on, but you never really get into her.  Gran, although not a ten-year-old, definitely rocks by the end of the book.

About 100 pages.

In short: Ten-year-old Sam Jones has about had it with getting shuffled off to Gran’s house whenever his parents go on hiking vacations: she’s superstitious, has tons of nonsensical rules (no whistling after dark), and never has any interest in letting him do anything fun. But one day while they’re on “vacation” together, her car breaks down, and a girl appears in the mist from their radiator, asking for Mother Merryweather’s help.  The Dreables have returned…

This book, a very enjoyable read, walks a fine line on the lesson of being polite.  There are some real stinkers of kids’ books out there that all they do is preach, preach, preach.  This isn’t that kind of book.  While it looks like, in the beginning of the book, that it’s going to be about the value of being nice and polite, it’s not.  If there’s any real lesson here, it’s that sometimes old people are more interesting than your parents, and have awesome things to teach…as long as you can get them to open up.  Despite going off about the value of politeness, Gran isn’t the nicest, most perfect, most trusting soul out there.  She’s a glutton for sweets, thinks Sam is nothing but a brat, doesn’t want to get dragged into saving other people…and doesn’t listen to the animals around her, after making a big stinking deal about how they just “know” the truth about people.  Gran has to learn as much, if not more, than Sam does, and it’s interesting (as an adult) to watch her have to grow and adapt.

Book Description (from Goodreads):

Sam Jones’ holiday with Gran is all baking and cats (yawn). But when she gets a cry for help from her old village, everything changes. Something bad is happening and only Gran can fix it. But when she falls victim to a shapeshifter’s trick, Sam is left alone with just dog, cat and cherry bakewells. Things look bleak..But the Dreables haven’t bargained for Gran’s secret gift to Sam. Cunning…

About the Author (from Goodreads):

RA Jones was born in a mining village in the Swansea valley in Wales where he attended primary and secondary schools. In 1974, he was offered a place at Medical school in London and qualified in 1979. Medicine and a family followed, but writing as Dylan Jones, he published 4 novels in the nineties, two of which were filmed by the BBC. But a growing desire to moves away from adult thrillers is what has preoccupied him of late. He also plans to write contemporary adult novels (urban fantasy) as DC Farmer.

Sometimes all three of his personae will start speaking at once, at which point he lies down in a dark room and waits for the feeling to pass.

RA Jones’s website is here.  You can buy the book from Amazon.

Categories: Book Reviews, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-04-29

Powered by Twitter Tools

Categories: Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-04-22

  • Alien Blue (SF adult novel) and Beware the Easter Moon (middle-grade Goosebumpy horror) free 2d only: http://t.co/lkBhY0LB #

Powered by Twitter Tools

Categories: Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Free fiction up – two days only

Apologies, I’m writing this ahead of time, because I’m actually at Pikes Peak Writers’ Conference.  April 21-22, my ebooks Beware the Easter Moon and Alien Blue should be free at Amazon only.  Pass the word!

Categories: Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Test

New kids’ fiction now available from AmazonSmashwords, and Barnes & Noble,with other sites to follow (Kobo, Apple, Sony).

I’m trying something new…

This is actually a two-story pack, with “The Test” and another kids’ story set in a fantasy world, “The Scaredy Wizard of Theornin.”  Both play around with Grimms’ fairy-tale themes.

The Test

by De Kenyon

Mari von Ingler is good for nothing, not making sausages or sewing a straight line or anything of use in her village, so her father arranges for her to be an apprentice to a mage…but only if she can pass the mage’s test.

But when the mage arrives, he only sends her out into the forest with no instructions but to come back and tell him whether she passed. She means only to stomp off into the woods and hide for an hour, but now she’s so lost that it would take magic to find her way back…

Mari von Ingler leaned gently against the warm white wall of the inn on the bench made out of half of a tree trunk that nobody but travelers sat on. She didn’t dare move an inch more, or the splinter poking through her thick wool skirt and linen underthings would bite her. She closed her eyes and tried to swallow back the rotten taste in her mouth. She wished she hadn’t eaten Mama’s good food; she wished she couldn’t smell the roast turning on the spit, inside the inn.

Read more »

Categories: Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-04-15

  • Into the heart of deepest Style Guide…the meat of the indie writer's copyediting checklist begins. http://t.co/HgnDNLJA #

Powered by Twitter Tools

Categories: Uncategorized | Leave a comment

R.L. Stine Tweets Friday the 13th

Goosebumps writer R.L. Stein wrote a short, bug-infested Twitter story in honor of Friday the 13th:

  1. Well, it’s Friday the 13th—my national holiday. To celebrate I wrote this story exclusively for you. It’s called THE BRAVE KID.
  2. Michael had no fear of Friday the 13th. His house was at 13 Endless Darkness Road. He was 13, and he was born on Friday the 13th…

Check out the whole thing at the link.

Categories: Uncategorized | Leave a comment